Here is a better thing.
The library of my fucking dreams is a cruise ship. It travels the oceans and seas of the world with a crew of librarians who are also excellent chefs and personal trainers.
I went to the library at school today and remembered why I love the fucking library. Everything I never knew I wanted to read is shelved there waiting for me to find it and realize I want to read it. I was looking for a Neil Stephenson book but the only one that wasn't checked out was Snow Crash.
I'd read that already so I knelt down to tie my boot and saw that Kurt Vonnegut was on the next shelf over, two up from the bottom. Kurt Vonnegut is great but I'd kind of had my heart set on some Science-Fiction (Vonnegut is sort of Science-Fiction, not really, sort of). I looked at the shelf across the isle from "Von" and saw "Vid" as in Vidal, Gore.
"Live From Golgotha"?"The Judgment Of Paris"?"Duluth"?"A Thirsty Evil"? What are these awesome fucking titles? Who is this Vidal?
I opened Live From Golgotha.
"...I am Timothy, son of Eunice the Jewess and George the Greek. I am fifteen. I am in the kitchen of my family's home in Lystra. I am lying stark naked on a wooden table. I have hyacinthine curls and cornflower-blue, forget-me-not eyes and the largest dick in our part of Asia Minor..."
That's the first page.
I fucking laughed out loud in the library. Science-Fiction can wait (this shit is too funny I've got to read it) I check the book out and go to Hard Times.
The book gets funnier and then, ten pages in,
"We know it is the work of a single hacker, as he will be known in the future..."
Fuck yeah, Seek & Ye Shall Find, Ask & Ye Shall Fucking Receive. The library gods deliver me a Sci-Fi novel because the Dewy-Decimal system knows what I really want even when I think I want something else.
Here are some things unrelated to how awesome the library is:
1.
2. A blog that my Beijing exchange-thing class started today.
3. Tonight = Pizza Party + The Great Escape.
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